ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
