This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
