too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
