I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
