But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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