well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just want nice things and good sex
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
