i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
