I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
