U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
