Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
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