woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
