And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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