that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
