he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
