Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
