I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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