Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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