Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
