Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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