Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
