it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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