I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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