Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
