remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
