look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
