1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
