I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
