I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
