the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
