You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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