Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
