I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
