Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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