Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
