Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
