Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
