new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Randomize
