it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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