Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You made out with two different species that night
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
