Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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