seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
