We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
