i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
