I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
