Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
