is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
