Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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