i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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