Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I supernannyed him into submission
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