He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
